Portland, OR Restaurant Review: Zell’s Cafe

This is getting to be a pain. I love breakfast. I could eat it every day of my life, every single meal. I don’t want to have to tell you again. Consider yourself warned. This was the only meal that my father could successfully cook, and I mean cook the living hell out of it. The one other time he took a turn cooking for my family, he murdered a batch of pasta sauce. Looked way more like firehouse chili. Horribly scarred for life. But breakfast? Hell. Done. Killed those meals. Thank goodness my mother could and can rule the kitchen, or we’d all have been in serious trouble.

So then there’s Zell’s over there, on Morrison. Something about their quaint corner location on a one-way street, and the nice green trees on the street out front, and the brick building across 13th, it’s weird. You’re sitting inside, and you don’t feel like you’re where you are. Coming up here from Los Angeles, it certainly doesn’t feel at all like that. Nothing like San Francisco. Not exactly Portland, either, to my limited understanding. Maybe a bit like a combination of neighborhoods in New York. A little bit Village, a little bit Brooklynese. So the general feel of the place, inside and out, already has me in a soft spot. Probably cheating a bit, actually. And then you take a seat and BAM! There’s a plateful of mini scones on your table, and some homemade raspberry jam. What is a guy supposed to do then? Fall in love, basically. Oh, another gushing breakfast review. Right.

Zell’s Cafe: Breaking Down the Menu and Ambiance
Apparently, the building in which Zell’s is situated used to be an old pharmacy — so taking a quick gander around the square-ish interior, you’ll see a wide, open space, high ceilings, ample seating, large windows and a neat little counter along part of the interior, eastern wall. I’m frustrated already trying to write this review, just as an honest interjection. If I could get away with it, like if I knew everyone in Portland and they all could just trust my opinion, the entirety of the review would be: Zell’s. Just go there and get a breakfast. I love it that much, environment, service and personnel, food and specials, all of it. Ok. I’ll try to write an actual review now.

I ordered the Huevos Rancheros again ($7.75). I’ve had it there a few times now, and I kind of situate Huevos Rancheros as my go-to breakfast meal in general, so I did it again this last time. If I am remembering correctly, it was a bit of a night the previous evening, so I went without the cheese. Wasn’t having a good tummy day, and that seemed like a great idea. Now, a lot of meals don’t go down so easily when you take away a super-tasty element like cheese, and the amazing thing here was that this breakfast was almost equally good, sans fromage. So there. Now, to make the comparison true and bona fide, one of my friends at the table ordered the standard version, with cheese. I tried a bite. Better, but not so much better that it tasted like a brand new dish. By the way, I yelled at my friend for not making sure all four of us got completely different meals, just to have more pictures to publish here.

Ranchero sauce is where it can all go wrong with a dish like this — pretty tough to mess up tortillas and cheese, and eggs for that matter. The Ranchero sauce is savory, a nice blend of peppers and tomatoes, not too much like a salsa that you grimace at like it came out of a can, and not too salty. A really great version of the sauce, beautiful color, and some gorgeous green onion bits to complement the overall look of the dish. I love all types of onions, so I enjoy them for the taste, and coupled with the Ranchero sauce and eggs, you just can’t go wrong.

Now because I wasn’t feeling too well, I had been on the fence, hovering between savory and sweet. As it turns out, another friend at the table ordered a nice spread which included pancakes, eggs (scrambled), and sausage patties. On the menu, this is referred to as the “2 + 2 + 2,” which includes 2 eggs any style, 2 pancakes and 2 strips of bacon ($6.95), and you can substitute a pair of Morningstar vegetarian sausage patties for an extra $1.25. And let me tell you, friends, the choice I made to go with the savory was about 80% correct that morning, because the pancakes are ridiculous.

Pancakes, if you’ve tried to make them on your own, are actually a deceptive dish in the kitchen. They’re not that easy to make — and of course, instant cakes are super simple, so that’s clearly not what I am referring to here — they’re not easy to make in an exquisite, amazing fashion. And Zell’s pancakes are terrific — fluffy enough, dense enough, not too buttery, not too flour-y, not too sweet, etc. And substantial — not like they just avoided anything bad and found a sweet spot somewhere in the middle where they don’t offend anyone. These are near-perfect pancakes. I should have gotten those instead. I will go back.

The last dish ordered by a member of our four-some was the Eggs Benedict ($8.75), and we already know my stance on Hollandaise sauce, which cannot be too sweet or I will wretch uncontrollably. Sweet Hollandaise tastes like those Jelly Belly jelly beans they come out with every Halloween — the scary ones that are disgusting, inedible flavors. Jelly Belly, if you’re reading this, you can have that idea. It’s yours. Never fear, the Eggs Benedict at Zell’s is excellent, and definitely errs on the savory side where the sauce is concerned. The Canadian bacon sits atop a Bay’s English muffin, perfectly toasted, and is topped with poached eggs and Hollandaise, with a generous portion of potatoes on the side. Delicious.

As I mentioned earlier, there’s a weird NY thing that happens to me every time I’m in Zell’s, which I am not certain others will pick up on, but hopefully if you do, you’ll use the comments section below to talk me through it. The ambiance inside Zell’s is warm and cozy while strangely not being small. In fact, the open floor plan of the place is quite large, but their positioning of tables, the pay station, the kitchen, the waiting area and the bar counter somehow all conspires to make the restaurant seem simultaneously spacious and homey-feeling, but not at all cramped. And can I tell you something? If you own a restaurant, or if you plan to own a restaurant, then go and have a meal here, and make sure you try to engage with the staff, though I don’t think you’ll have to work too hard to do so. They epitomize how restaurant employees should interact with the customers — all of them are totally on top of their work, their tables and their menu. The servers quickly made me feel comfortable and well looked after. Their service is just friendly enough without spending too much time bothering individual tables at the expense of anyone else. Dining at Zell’s Cafe is a treat and a half, to be sure.

Zell’s Cafe, SE Portland Pictures

Portland, OR Restaurant Details: Zell’s Cafe
Zell’s: An American Cafe
1300 SE Morrison St (on the southeast corner of Morrison and SE 13th Ave)
Portland, OR 97214-2423
Southeast
(503) 239-0196
Hours: 7am – 2pm Mon-Fri; Sat 8am – 2pm; Sun 8am – 3pm

Portland, OR Restaurant Map: Zell’s Cafe on SE Morrison
Click here for a map of the area: Zell’s Cafe in SE Portland


Zell’s Cafe Review on YELP: Portland (Click)
Zell’s Cafe Review on 10Best.com (Click)
Zell’s Cafe on Mr. Breakfast (Click)
Zell’s Cafe Menu on MenuPix (Click)

Zell's Cafe on SE Morrison St. at SE 13th Ave, 7.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating

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